If you’ve been diagnosed with secondary infertility and are thinking about using donor eggs to build your family, you may have a plethora of worries and concerns surrounding the process.
Will I still bond with my baby? What will my baby look like? Will my newborn have the same wonderful sibling relationships I had with my own brothers or sisters?
These are just a few of the most common questions asked by those considering donor egg– and they’re completely normal concerns to have. Luckily, they’re also questions that can be answered.
Let’s put any doubts you may have to rest and see how strong and enduring family bonds are forged through donor egg.
Will I Still Develop a Bond with My Baby?
As a mom, it’s natural to worry about bonding with your baby. However, think back to your first pregnancy and how the bond developed between yourself and your firstborn.
Was it feeling them growing inside you that grew your love for your baby? Was it their first kick that reminded you what a beautiful gift you’d been given? Was it the moment you held your baby in your arms for the first time and gazed lovingly into their eyes?
None of these experiences are different when using donor egg.
By carrying and giving birth to your child, you’re able to enjoy all those wonderful feelings and experiences. You have time to forge your bond with your baby before he or she enters the world. That’s one of the great benefits of donor egg – once you’ve been through the donor egg IVF process, you get to enjoy a normal pregnancy.
Additionally, scientists have discovered that mothers using donor egg can still influence their baby’s gene expression while carrying them in the womb.
Who Will My Baby Look Like?
Another concern you may have is whether it’ll be obvious your baby doesn’t share your genes. Are people going to notice right away? Will this affect your bond with your child later in life?
While your baby won’t share your genetic makeup, you’ll still have control over their unique characteristics through your choice in an egg donor. Whether your donor is a close friend, family member or someone anonymous you select through a donor egg bank, you have the opportunity to choose a donor who has aspects and traits that are important to you.
Although, you’ll have an idea as to what some of the qualities and traits your baby may possess before he or she is conceived, it’s important to remember no mother can guarantee what their baby looks like or what personality traits they may have. Each and every baby is unique in their own beautiful way, donor egg or no donor egg.
How Will My Baby Bond with Their Brothers and Sisters?
The strength of the relationship all your children will have with one another may be another concern. Even if you refrain from telling your children how their new brother or sister was conceived, you may still worry that a deep-rooted connection may not develop.
Again, the bond your children will enjoy goes so much further than genetics. It’s about their excitement and anticipation as they await their new baby brother or sister. It’s about their care, love, and devotion as they watch their sibling grow. To some, it’s about the friendly sibling rivalries every brother and sister enjoy (and reminisce about with affection).
Making your children part of this journey and allowing them to play a role in your pregnancy (reading books to the baby, telling the baby they love them, and caring for you through your pregnancy) will remove any doubts you may have about the durability of their bond.
Forging Family Bonds – Forever
While many of us believe the adage “blood is thicker than water” suggests genetic bonds are stronger than any other relationship, this couldn’t be further from the truth.
Your yearning to build your family and your perseverance to have another child means so much more.
Through donor egg, you can have the family of your dreams with strong bonds that will hold forever.
